Life is COMPLICATED

Dear Bloggers,

I just don't know what my feeling at this moment. I wish I can choose freely without hesitating things. God created me to love and to hate but all I can give to people is LOVE. My kindness towards others are sincere and I never need anything but a pray for me is enough. I'm so glad to have people that care and always advised me. They always there for me.

I'm pretty sad with myself. I wish that I was strong but not all people can be strong. They will have to get through so many obstacles before they reach their goals. I just don't have anything to say just a sadness that I have for 4 days that I wish it was never happened.

I want to let go and move on but now I realized that it was so hard and I cried and I feel like I need a space and a time alone to think clearly and make a wise decision for my life.


I hope time flies so fast and this heart heals so fast as well. I need myself before. I need those happiness and craziness of mine. I don't want to think about all of these shits. God just give me strength to move on and just be happy about myself. God please help me.


-Sharon-

Love at FIRST SIGHT

Hey Bloggers!

It's been awhile and I still don't know what to write in this blog but since my topic about Love at First Sight

**Here goes**

I'm going to write about my love at first sight.

I broke up with my ex a year ago on the mid of January and for sure I was pretty upset back there. I cried a lot and begged for him to accept me back but he didn't want me anymore and he asked me to move on. I was so sad and couldn't accept the fact that our 5 years ended up with broken heart. I was blind and I thought he still want me. However, I am not a weak person that doesn't know how to handle problems. I've been through a lot of pain and I managed to handle it. I started to busy myself and spent quality time with friends and family and every time I think of him I will try not to think about him until one day I finally forget about him but suddenly he texted me saying sweet things and saying he missed me. I woke up that morning feeling all blues. I replied to his text and he didn't reply me back but that's okay even I feel hurt because it seems he just looking for a person to talk with and then ignore them. I continue my single life with friends and family. They are my backbone. Without them I don't think I can live as a happy person. I don't blamed my ex for being a jerk since I am the one that is a jerk. He is a good guy and cool and I am glad he found his new love that is 5 years younger than us. LOL. She is pretty(I know she is the one who removed me from his FB and Instagram) p/s: she followed me on instagram. Haha. (I don't know why but wiz cares(who cares)) Okay...After I heal from a broken heart, I went out with my friend. She brought her cousins. I know 2 of them and the one person (1 year older ) was a stranger to me. So she introduced to me. She said "this is Ryan".I said Hai and we walked around the mall and ate at KFC. I still remember he was wearing black t-shirt. He was so skinny and tall (I like tall guy and fair skin). I have a crushed on him at the first time we met. It's funny but it's true. We went to a crystal shop and he was asking for his luck and what crystal should he use blablabla(I don't believe that kinda thing). So I noticed that he kept looking at me but I kept quite ( I was trying to be girly). The next destination was Suria. We watched movie if not mistaken. I forgot how our first day met was. LOL. After the first day we met, I thought it was the last time I'm gonna see him but noooo we met AGAIN! They were going for rafting(My friend and her cousins) and my friend invited me and I was so excited because I like extreme sports/activites but she said maybe the other cousin will follow so there will be no spaced at the back seat and I was sad. So~~~ My friend asked Ryan which one he rather bring the cousin or me so he picked me. Yeah!!! hahaha. We arrived safely to Kiulu. So we raft  down the river. It was so fun! I had a great day where they threw me out from the boat and I have to swam(even though I don't know how to swim)back to the boat. It was pretty scary but I managed to control my fear and I tried to swim back to the boat. We had so much fun. We took pictures. After the day was over, we were all tired and went back home. I started to add my friend's cousins except him. LOL. I was waited for him to add me but ney I was the one who added him (Jerk!). He started to comment at my picture. I still waiting for him to text me back or IM me at FB then one day I gave up. 

Suddenly~~ PING!!(IM FB) came out at my desktop phone and it was him. We started to chat and chat and one day we decided to meet up without anyone knows it. He's asked me to keep a secret but I know how his cousin and auntie are. Our first met up was kinda awkward and we both were shy. I was trying to be girly( I didn't know that works). We went for a movie, dinner and more. Since FB needs internet to connect, we decided to exchange our number. We started whatsapp-ing everyday and never missed(well there was this one time he didn't text me and I thought maybe he get bored with me). The next day he texted me back! I was relief. He said why I didn't text him and I said I thought you don't want to be my friend anymore. We started to chat like we usually do and nicknames for us suddenly created. Cute nicknames. LOL. One day, he went back to his hometown and at the same time I was at my grandma's house. He picked me up at my grandma's house. My aunties, uncles and grandma were wondering who's that guy and they thought it's Ryan(my cousin). Since they have the same name and the car seriously it's almost look the same like my cousin's car. Since then my family said he is okay and I should couple with him. I said I wasn't ready. 

So the days have passed and I still not ready for new love but everyone was giving me support and agreed if I dated him. I said "I wait for him to ask me out". So one day, he spontaneously said "let's go out on a date like for real"(on the whatsapp chat). I said "like date date??" He said yes but up to you if you want or not(I was pretty upset with that word). So, we both admitted that we like each other from the first time we met. 

So...

Our Declaration date: 03 May 2014 

We have been together for 1 year plus!! I love my man now and forever. May God bless our relationship. I'm in love with my man now and forever. Thanks for being a part of my life and accept me for who I am. He is the best boyfriend I ever had. He makes me happy and he is so romantic.

I love you, Ryan Spencer

THE END

SHARON

When you finally find new love

It will never be the same. You just have to accept the changes and try not to be the same person you used to be. Treat someone that you love right now differently. Treat him/her nicely than before. I know it is hard to move on but everything happens for a reason. We can't turn back time, if it can then it's a miracle.

      Frankly saying, I still thinking about my ex but I try so hard not to contact him anymore and remembering him with the memories we had. Some is sweet and some is sour. Now I know how it feels to be a brokenhearted. The pain, the memories and everything are unacceptable. I still feel the pain and sad but I keep saying to myself, God doesn't do this purposely. He loves me and that's why I need to forget him and move on. Sometimes it is not fair but we just have to deal with it.

       However, I'm still young and I found the new love of mine and slowly I'm starting to like him even more than before this. My family likes him and they're giving us green light. Even my mum likes him (I think so) and my dad too.  I feel so blessed because at last my relationship being blessed but I still haven't met his parents. A bit nervous tho but I really hope his parents can accept for who I really am. I may not be that perfect girl but I sure know how to love the person I love. LOL.

      I'm not that choosy but when looking for someone with a kindhearted, I think I can be a lil choosy there. The look? The body? I guess that is gonna be second in my list of searching the right man. LOL. I'm not easy to fall in love. Frankly, I easy attached with guy who has the characters like making jokes, friendly and most important thing, KIND. Usually guy with a good looking face is just not my type. The reason is, that face cannot be trusted. However, my ex is kind. He is not a bad person. I'm the one who is bad and changed him. Only there is no hope for our relationship. I accept that.


Therefore, I am so thankful and I love my man now:

   


Sincerely,
Sharon G.

To move on you have to.

I guess it is true about BREAK UP. You can't have a good break up. It has to end with a hateful and anger so it is easy for you to move on. I learned my lesson. I did learn. I feel so angry when I knew that HE with someone else, I am not jealous but for so many months and now he revealed his relationship with another girl. Let me see, we broke up on the mid January and guess what? He's in a relationship with that on the 1st February 2014. Who doesn't get angry??? He met me on April 17th and FYI it wasn't me who wanna met up. It's his idea. I didn't wanna see him to be honest but he insisted to pick me up at the airport. The weirdest thing was when he held my hand. I was weird and it confused me like a lot. The thing he asked for me is not to find another man. If only he be honest to me from the beginning. This won't happened. HEARTACHE! Now I know what is the reason he wanted to break up with me. I asked him like so many times and he didn't even tell me the reason. I finally know. Maybe there's a reason he doesn't tell me. Well. I have my own future now. I accepted it. I will move on. Thanks for the hint. I will try not to KNOW YOU.